MindSwitch Mondays #52: Equity vs Equality
Last week I had the pleasure of listening to Dr. Derrik Gay talk about the topic of diversity in a Parent Development session at my kid’s school. Since then, I have been thinking about how equity and equality usually play out in our parenting.
Does this sound familiar to you?
“You gave six grapes to my sister, that means I should get three more grapes!”
Or
“Why does he get new shoes? My shoes don’t have a hole in them, but I should also be getting a new pair like my brother!”
Or
“You spent more time cuddling with my sister before going to bed, I should get more time!”
As parents or as siblings ourselves, we have all heard or said phrases like these.
We live in a world where equality has become a priority. Equal amounts, equal time, equal everything.
We all agree that inequality is bad, but what type of equality is good?
Let's clear up what the term equality means. The dictionary definition of equality is the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities. Everyone is treated exactly the same, regardless of their differences.
So if we filter the above examples through this definition, in each scenario they were all treated equally. Give equal grapes, have shoes, and cuddles.
But does it necessarily follow that they have the same needs?
More often than not, we want to be given the same amount, or the same time, or the same anything. Kids want what their siblings or friends have.
But when we think about what our kids really need, we need to realize all the differences that exist between each. Same opportunities for all also need to have equal access to them.
This is where equity comes in.
We tend to focus on what is equal, rather than what is equitable.
While equal and equitable may sound similar, the use of one or the other has different outcomes.
Equal means the same, whereas equitable means fairly.
To understand the difference, let’s take a look at the following example.
Inequality: There is clear inequality in the first quadrant. The tree has more apples on the left than on the right side, it is a bit more inclined to the left than the right. One boy will get more apples than the other.
Equality: Remember the definition “the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.” Equal means the same amount. So the equal quadrant shows that both boys get the same resource, to be equal, right? A ladder was given to both. But does this mean that they can both get access to the apples? No.
Equity: Both kids have the opportunity to get apples, and have equal access. The kids are given a ladder tailored to their needs, one ladder is taller than the other.
Justice: When conditions of equity are created so everyone can have equal opportunities and equal access.
Equality is not enough. Providing the same type and number of resources to all is not enough. Needs must be effectively addressed by focusing on differences.
Let’s talk about how we can flip the script to go from equality to equity with our kids.
Let’s look at our original examples at the beginning of this newsletter.
1. Kid: “You gave six grapes to my sister, that means I should get three more grapes!”
Opportunity: Good Nutrition
Equitable parental response: “Would you like four grapes or are you hungry enough for six?
2. “Why does he get new shoes? My shoes don’t have a hole in them, but I should also be getting a new pair like my brother!”
Opportunity: Being clothed.
Equitable parental response: “Let’s go check your shoe rack to see how your shoes are, and if you need a new pair I will get you new ones as well.”
3. “You spent more time cuddling my sister before going to bed, I should get more time!”
Opportunity: Love and connection.
Equitable parental response: “Sweetie, we are not discussing your sister, I want to talk about you, and what you need at bedtime.”
The challenge some parents face is how to liberate their kids from the obsession with “equal,” “fair” and “same.”
While kids need to be treated equally, they also need to be treated equitably. They need to understand that equality is not always equitable. That being treated equitably is taking into account each kid's unique needs.
It comes down to learning we all have different needs. As a result, we start valuing diversity. We stop fighting over what is fair or what is equal, focus on creating conditions for equity, and develop self-awareness to know what we do need.
That is all for today,
Thank you for reading.
Alexandra
from MindSwitch Education