My daughters started in-person school after a year of pandemic-distance learning this week. Questions started to pop into our conversations a week before school started. They wanted to know who their teachers were going to be, which friends were in their classroom, what they would have to do if they would have to eat lunch at school or not, and where their classroom was.
From early on in life, we have a lot of firsts. Your first foods, first steps, first hugs, first word, and first taste of chocolate. These are exciting moments, but as we get older, firsts can come with challenges.
For kids, the first day of school or the first year of school can come with fears and worries.
Fears, Worry Loops, and Anxiety
Fears are a normal part of childhood. We learn to move on from fears with experience and trust. Fears pass as time passes unless the fears are not cut off and grow into a lingering sense of worry.
Worries tend to be future-oriented. They come and go, but how we respond to them is what makes the difference. We should understand fear, move through worries, and help kids get derailed from the anxiety loop.
Kids actually develop their own strategies for coping with worry.
Let’s do a Lightbulb Exercise 💡
Can you remember one of your first days of school? What happened that day? What happened the day before? How did you feel? Who did you meet? What activities did you do? Did you make new friends? Were you in a big or small classroom?
Now add all the COVID Safety Measures schools need to implement to open in person. We are dealing with a disruption of the education system during a health pandemic. Kids worry if they will go back to school, if they will be safe in school, and if they will be sent back to distance learning.
But, kids have their own way of expressing their fears. Because anxiety shows up in kids in different ways, worries can be sneaky and hard to recognize. Some kids will have stomach pain or headaches the first days of school. Others will tell you they are tired and spend quiet time in their rooms. And some will be loud and seek attention.
Kids are growing up in the age of anxiety. The word itself is part of their vocabulary. The problem is that the efforts to control worry don’t work.
How can we help kids manage their fears and anxieties around the first days of school?
Encourage independence. Encourage your child to do everyday tasks such as introducing themselves to new people, asking for help, packing their school bag, or eating independently. This will give them practice in tasks they will have to do on their own at school. More practice, more independence, more confidence.
Calm their worries and fears. Talk to your kids about the first day of school, what they expect, what they look forward to, who they want to see. Allow them to ask questions and express insecurities.
Attitude is king! Foster a positive attitude around school topics. There will be things you or your kids might not agree with about school, but try to see the positive side of things. We have mirror neurons that imitate the attitudes and actions we see of those around us. If kids have parents with a positive attitude, they will mirror this as well.
Thank you for reading, see you next Monday for another MindSwitch!
Alexandra
p.s. Here’s an idea you can consider saying to your child on their first day of school.