MindSwitch Mondays #20: Cultivate Gratitude, Weed Out Entitlement
The meaning of the word entitled is to give someone a title or a right.
The word was used to give a title to someone who was wealthy or privileged, but now it has shifted to human rights.
Our kids are growing up in a culture that is obsessed with the right to have what we want, whether they have earned it or not.
Complaints seem to be the new language to get things, and the pursuit of happiness has become our biggest obsession.
Here’s how Kristen Welch put it “Instead of happiness being a by-product of the life we live, it has become an elusive destination.”
We tend to think that protecting our kids from unhappiness will make them happier, but the opposite is true. We only make life down the road harder for them.
We build entitlement.
Certainly, we all like to feel special. But while entitlement focuses on obligations, privileges focus on enjoying benefits not done so by others.
Entitlement is seeked, privileges are granted.
In Brene Brown’s words “What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.”
How can we bring up grateful kids in an entitled world?
Cultivate Obedience
I recently revisited “Collaboration over Obedience,” issue #16 of MindSwitch Mondays, which seems to be a topic that keeps popping up. Certainly, we need to raise kids that collaborate, but there are moments when kids just need to obey.
When there is a situation where safety or values will be compromised, obedience needs to step in. Kids have to understand that safety and moral values are non-negotiable.
For example, when crossing the street kids need to follow rules of safety. Or when interacting with friends, they can’t go hitting friends to get a toy back, respect is important.
Kids still need adult leadership and guidance, they are not ready to enjoy the rights that come with greater experience, skills, and maturity.
Obedience is a learned behavior that places our authority over kids. Without authority, there is recklessness.
Require obedience, but do so with love and grace.
Lead by example. You want kids who are grateful, be grateful yourself. Find a moment in your kid’s day to ask the question, What are you grateful for today?
I am grateful for each one of you who has signed up for my newsletter.
I wish you the strength to face every problem, happiness to enjoy your wonderful life, love to make life beautiful, and talent to make life worth living.
Have a great week!
Alexandra
Photo by Alora Griffiths on Unsplash